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There's a shirt hanging in my closet that has seen me through more than most people have. It's nothing special to look at. White, cotton, a collar that stands up when I ask it to, buttons that have been sewn back on at least twice. It didn't cost much. It isn't designer. But if you lined up every hard morning of the last few years, a startling number of them would have that shirt in the picture. I didn't plan that. Nobody sets out to build a relationship with a piece of cloth

For a long time, I owned exactly one red lipstick. I bought it in a moment of bravery, and as soon as I walked out of the store, I wiped it off with the kind of relief you feel after leaving a party early. After that, it lived in the back of a drawer for years, coming out maybe twice a year for weddings and holidays, the occasions where a little "extra" felt permitted. I want to be gentle with the woman who did that, because she wasn't silly. She had absorbed a lot of quiet r